it's getting more and more difficult for me to settle down and click 'post an entry' in xanga, especially when i haven't got anything better to mention than the trivalities which i'm sure no body is interested in. And in fact, i didn't mean to write anything today, it just happened that i clicked the wrong key and got into this page. Well, why not, i thought. It's been ages since i last wrote 'sth' here...

for some reasons, i dont feel particularly excited about getting a job in summer anymore, despite the fact that i've unknowningly spent quite a lof money throughout the whole year, which makes my life at this moment slightly difficult. I remember being very enthusiastic about getting jobs and earning some money when i just graduated from high-school, which is sad when i think of it now coz i've spent so much time on doing things that didnt yield anything really substantial... and this is probably the reason why i wanna enjoy my summer holiday to the fullest without having need to worry about JOBS and commitments (although i do have some 'casual' 'minor' commitments with my profs) because after this year it'd be real work. I will be having enough work to do for the rest of my life without needing to worry about getting extra work to do in the summer.... well, although i'm really broke now i dont wanna start my 9-5 life, if i can get a job.

as an english student i wasnt aware of the truth that my knowledge of the basic western culture/civilisation was so much less than sufficient after i had had this bible course last semester. For so much of the literary work, western cultural is almost as crucial as the wontons in a wonton soup. I've got myself several books on greek and roman mythology and hopefull I can start reading those this summer... i think i can handle them on my own...

well so much about my 'work' side. Yes, i'm a dull boy and i havent had much fun since .. well i forgot when was the last time i had fun lol... sigh maybe it's a sign that i'm getting old and boring....sigh...

please comment on this entry to give me some extra motivation to write, or else this place is gonna dry up and eventually close down...

anyone knows me should have heard of me saying, ' oh, i wish i could just die and escape from all the sufferings in this world.'

I swear, here, I will never ever say it again, not even think of it.

What does all these sufferings I've had so far in my life mean? absoutely nothing. Nothing compared to the trauma people had in their lives. My sufferings? It's only the melanchonly of my own. It's just me being negative all the time. But what have I done to people around me? What have I done to make my life memorable? absoutely nothing. 

I never knew you personally, but you have enlightened me to stay strong and be positive in life, which is short and fragile. You remind me one very important thing, live your life to your fullest. May you rest in peace.